The Yoni Chronicles

Hi sexy ones!  How is everyone coming along with their journey?  Let me ask you something.  Can you identify your partners Yoni?  And why would you even need to know who she is, anyway?  I’m happy keeping mine at arms length; yet, there is more to our genitals than just face value you know! We must get more acquainted with them in all areas of their circumference, internal dialogue, wall to wall; ceiling to floor and shaft to glands; but ladies first as usual!  I gotta be honest though; I think we’re good, meaning, me and my hoo hoo, that is.  But I definitely would miss her if she wasn’t around, so I have taken the time to research and explore in depth; to find out who she really is!
You see, we weren’t told to get to know our genitals.  And for a fact; I was a bit concerned prior to finding out who she was; that I didn't know my Yoni at all.  Frankly, I couldn’t even pick her out of a line up!  Seriously, can you or your partner for that matter?  I mean look, I could have probably narrowed it down, like they taught us to do in SAT prep (Scholastic Aptitude Test), but any Yoni with the same grooming, colouring, and general size; could have been mine!  I"m tellin ya, how sad is that?  I didn’t even know if my Yoni had any defining marks, characteristics, or any emotional traits that made it uniquely my own.

Listen up all you women & men out there.  Yoni's come in lots of different shapes, sizes, colours and personalities.  There’s 9 in fact, variations from person to person, both in women & men, and there’s no such thing as a standard Yoni or Lingam either.  One example is; not all women are born with hymens.  And for those who do have hymens, they range in thickness and amount of coverage.  What this means is; you can’t actually tell if someone is a virgin or not by doing a hymen check!

In my practice, I offer a path of exploration into your Yoni & Lingam's personal identity; and match it up to one of the 9 anatomies of who you are.  This practice enables you to clearly understand what type of a lover you are; and how you actually like pleasure.  I'm going to tell you today, that every one of those anatomies have completely different structures, physically.  So, if you think something is wrong with you down south; you're wrong! 

With women, their erogenous zones are either far apart, or very close together.  If they are closer together; she can experience a faster orgasm than if her erogenous zones are further apart.  This, my fellow male followers, is why your partner may take a lot longer to explode into orgasmic bliss.  If you are making love to your partner; and her erogenous anatomy is spread further apart within her love chamber; you're probably not hitting all the erogenous zones to trigger her orgasm.  If all her erogenous zones are all clustered together, meaning the vaginal opening, the clitoris and the g spot, then just a finger or tongue will do the job, because all the erogenous zones are being stimulated simultaneously and therefor, she can have an orgasm in less than 2 minutes! Good Goddess; I'm jealous! 

Knowing your partners sexual identity is so crucial, because it's healing; and we finally realize for the first time; that there's nothing wrong with us at all.  Understanding your anatomy reveals who you are sexually and what you like sexually.  Discovering what your physical anatomy actual is, will repair emotional wounds and sexual insecurities, revive monotonous relationships, and discover the sweet medicine of sex again!  I absolutely love revealing to my seekers; their sexual identities; and giving them a actual name of a sacred land animal.  Whether people come to me as an individual woman, man, or as a couple;  they are astonished when I pull out my anatomy drawings for hers and his as well; and get right down to the identification exercise right off the bat.  These sacred healing teachings explain the physical, energetic, and sexual qualities of the 9 female & male genital anatomy types; and how to identify yourself, so both women and men can please each other properly, in pleasure, not pain!   As well, taking pride in their own unique anatomy as a sexual human being is life changing.   Not only does the narrowing down of your identity get you onto the path of sexual self realization; you also discover the variations of orgasmic expression (which I explain in sessions)  associated will all 9!  How friggin cool is that I ask you?

Learning to grow into your unique sexual space as an individual and pinpoint exactly who you are down there, is the most empowering experience for both you and your partner.  And not only that; once you reclaim your identity and if you're single; you'll know how to more accurately play, sexually, with a partner, just by identifying her/his genitalia; instead of that drawn out guessing game.

Want to know any further details about this mysterious practice; you know how to reach me!

oxoxoxox

Intention vs Goal

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Hello all you hard working goal setters!  Stop being so hard on yourselves.  Listen, we've all heard the advice; set GOALS if you want to accomplish anything substantial, right?  For sure we have!  Our society, has an obsession with GOAL setting, even in the sac, if you can believe that!  I"m here to help you scratch that off the list.  It doesn't apply here people! 

We tie a GOAL to an accomplishment; and In our culture, an individual can't be considered successful unless a GOAL has been achieved.  And the usual motivation behind that method of madness, is carried right over into our sex lives.  How f....cked up is that I ask you?  The bigger, the longer the wetter the better; why, why, why I ask, does it even matter?  The way to measure  success with sex; is to measure your INTENTION right off the bat!

What are you aiming for; what's the plan man?  There's compelling evidence that in this area of life, people and couples consistently fall short of achieving bliss; which IS the only GOAL that's required in this scenario!  More often than not, the fault is attributed by the GOAL setter.  Yep, those of us who insist on bringing the outside GOAL BULL CRAP into the bedroom.  But the real problem here, is the efficacy of the INTENTION itself.

There are psychological manifestations that can organically grow from  not achieving any GOAL at all when it comes to sex; which is much less damaging on our esteem, than having one in the first place.  The process that I like to bring into this equation, allows you to set up desires (NOT GOALS) that are realistic for the reality of sex.  Whenever we desire things that we don't have, we set our brains nervous system to produce emotions.  Secondly, get rid of those highly aspirational GOALS that you want with sex.  Those require us to develop new competencies, some of which, may be beyond our own current sexual capabilities.  Look, we are who we are in this quadrant of life, so be comfortable with who that is.  Remember your blueprint sexy ones!  The more you try and develop these outrageous personalities that you are not; but you heard that it could be sexy, the more likely you are to experience an unsatisfactory sex life, which then can become a turn off.  And the third; GOAL setting which sets up an either or polarity of success.  The only true measure can either be 100% satisfied sexually, or perfection in the bedroom, or 99% and less, which is failure.   The fourth and final, GOAL setting doesn't take into account random spontaneity of chance.  The other problem is; that sexual GOALS often throw in the images of the ideal or perfection, which activates the self judging thinking of; I should be this way or that way.  This totally counteracts "in the moment" which needs to be the only element here.

We must also make a distinction between our INTENTION vs GOAL.  An INTENTION is a direction we want to pursue, and preferably with passion of coarse.  Through my practice with couples and singles coming to me for guidance, they are often confused, and unclear about the INTENTION of how they want to live in their sex life, and therefore a focus on GOAL is amplified.  This doesn't assist them with clarifying their INTENTION at all.

When I work with people as their sex coach and mentor with this area of their life, they often tell me they've set a GOAL such as; I want to be able to last longer with my partner (which is fine and dandy) or, I want to be able to make my partner orgasm 4 times!  Nice thought, but unrealistic.  What they don't realize is, they've just described the symptoms or outcomes of the problems in their sex life.  The cause of the problem, which many resist facing, is the GOAL needs to vanish!  They don't realize that for a change to occur in the bedroom, (if you want change that is; they must have an INTENTION only.  Once you make that change, everything around you will alter, which will make the GOAL irrelevant.

There's an old saying here, and we need to renew it;  you don't get what you want in life (GOAL), you get in life what you are (INTENTION).
Ok my sexy little grasshoppers.  Let's stick with the process, shall we?
oxoxoxoxoxoxo

Solitary Sex

Hey you tigresses and tigers!  How the heck are ya anyway?  I totally have the understanding that those tribes of animals are solitude creatures; I’m no stranger to savouring the state of freedom either, what about you?  For a good deal of my life, it has been a constant companion.  While I celebrated my inner lone tigress during all that self time, I also learned a very important lesson, where there was going to be a point when my unique, vibrant, and essential sexuality would begin to demand my attention.

Some single people deal with sex by casually taking lovers when they wish; sort of like cleaning out the bathroom sink trap.  I'm Guilty!  If you’re married or co-habitating, your partner is right there at your disposal most of the time.  Certainly, if you consult your little black book or making time for intimacy with your partner; this is one way to address your sexual needs.

There is another way; and that is, to be your own lover.  Developing intimate self love is not mutually exclusive of the other ways to get your sexual needs met.  In fact, it’s the first step toward a more fulfilling sexual life.  Yep, you can be your own lover.  How sexy is that?  If this thing called self love, when it pertains to sex, sounds new agey or weird, it isn’t.  Think of it this way.  Before you can be a good lover to anyone else, you need to be a good lover to yourself.  Yeppers, it IS that simple.  What else can you bring to a sexual relationship but what you are willing to offer to yourself, right?

When someone asks you out to dinner and lets you choose the restaurant, how do you know what flavours appeal to your palate unless at one time you made the effort to figure it out on your own?  Sex works the same way my playful followers!  The more at ease you are with your own body and your sexual needs, the better equipped you are to share sexual energy with someone else.  Look you guys; It’s not difficult to begin developing a sense of your unique sexual identity.  You can begin a solitude practice to discover and encourage it in a number of ways.  Here's some starters.

Take a dance class that focuses on sensual movements

Get a massage - by me!

Buy an outfit in your favourite sensual fabric

Take a warm bath

When you take time for yourself in solitude, you have a tremendous opportunity to develop a strong sense of your own sexual identity.  So, what happens is; you are better able to share your sexuality with a lover, that is if you choose to have one.  Regardless of whether or not you have a partner, a well-developed PRIVATE sexual life WILL help you to create a strong sense of majestic self worth.

Ok all you remote minded islanders!  Please take the time for solitary sex this week.

See you again!

oxoxoxooxoxoo

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Sexual Prism

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Hey my transparent recruits!  How's the sexual journey?  Have you ever taken a moment and pondered over your sex life; and feel like you've lost your hold on your sexual personality?  Truthfully, many people are now grabbing back their personal sexual identity.  Some of us feel like we have to dabble into exploring all the hype; even if it's not to their personal liking.  This my friends is NOT the way your sex life was meant to be lived.  What I'm saying is: if you already have the knowing inside of you; meaning, you see the black and you see the white; or the varying hues stemming from that ; then the work is done! 
So how do you find your personal sexual prism; if you haven't already done so, in order for you to determine exactly who you are in your sexual world?  Theoretically anyone, anywhere, at any time can tap into the internal depths of their personal sexual prism.  First off, however, in order to decode the colourful information; it requires the light, of that crystal clear awareness of yourself, in-depth knowledge of what exactly is being thrown out to you from society and the continual development thereafter, for your own sexual skills (yes, skills!).
It's easy to identify your personal sexual prism, but I'm here to tell you, it's just as easy to have it clobbered, so be careful please!  Of course, having a giving partner is essential, but your sexual prism comes from you; you create and created it.  For me, It was an incredibly long and arduous process; given that my sexual prism was crafted by other people in my previous relationships, and I naively went along with things, thinking that eventually I would be a certain way sexually.  Society also dictated to me with; here, try this or try that; even when I knew the black and white of sexual self.  I eventually burned up those sketches society was trying to draw for me and had a ceremonial naked fire dance ritual; ashes to ashes!  So far I've learned to remember that my sexuality is meant to be enjoyed with pleasure, and to stay present and open during the whole blooming process.  Remember, no ONE sexual experience is THE experience.  Even with the same partner, it can change over years, weeks, and even days.  So let go of that silly drawing that was thrown at you, telling you that you're suppose to be this specific sexual being or that apparent sexual being!  Toss it, or roll it up and shove it in a closet for memories; you don't need it anymore!  All you need is your triangle; made up of your inner self, your body, and a willingness to allow the light in, to open the spectrum of colour that awaits!
Take a look at a blooming spring flower garden and noticed the colours are perfectly accentuating each other?  Stop wasting your time looking at the colour wheel to see if one colour matches the other. With your sexual prism; everything matches like a garden blooming with pinks and oranges together.  I bet you never thought of decorating one of your rooms in your home with those two colours did you?  But in the garden, those colours  are perfectly natural; growing and revealing their true radiance!  This is how it works with your sexual prism.  Your sexual prism is one garden of colour; stemming from the black and the white; THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW AND SEE!
Ok you patient, passionate, colourful followers.  I leave this with you to ponder.
Next time as usual!
oxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Sex Syncronicity

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Hey you harmonized sexy followers!  Let's get into sync sexually and become those excited erotic beings that your know you are!  Picture this; you're in bed with your partner and everything SEEMS great to you, as a man.  But suddenly, you're seeing fireworks and she's fizzled out.  So what happened?  Simply put, you may have assumed, that when it comes to being turned on, women and men are ready at the same time.

Look, nothing could be further from the truth.  In fact, in the heat of the moment, many guys make a sexually FATAL mistake; they assume that their partner is as excited as they are, so as men usually do, they speed things up when they should be slowing down or doing more to get into sync!  You guys can't just assume that a woman's level of natural lubrication corresponds exactly to the level of excitement that she is experiencing, can you?  NO!  You can't.   Lubrication is a big part of the arousal process, BUT, it Is by no means an indicator that she's been amply stimulated.  She may be as wet as Niagra Falls, but not necessarily aroused.  So don't just go for the jugular.  Stop that!  Conversely, a woman may be highly aroused, yet not necessarily well lubricated.  Men often take this as an insult, thinking that they're doing something wrong; which at times they have, but listen; don't just go stickin your finger or manhood in there!

Confused?  Listen up!  This is how you can make sure your partner is really raring to go, so you can once again enter the home of bliss that you long to be cozy with!   Generally, if a man focuses on foreplay ONLY; and keeps the stimulation going, the lubrication will flow.  If not, a little extra assistance can help.   Most women prefer having a natural lube (like your saliva) until their own wetness kicks in, while others find that they can only get properly lubricated if they feel themselves already wet.  Natural substances, are the way to go here!

Beyond a woman's level of lubrication, guys should pay more attention to the visible signs of arousal.  And just what are those signs?  Throughout the ages, WISE MEN; which I know you all are, have reflected upon this question and, in the Eastern practices for love and sex; there is an indication for female arousal, which I am going to lay out for you.  Her hands are hot and her abdomen is warm, and at the same time her language becomes almost unintelligible.  It's like, the la la of dialogue coming out of her mouth.  Kinda like talking in tongues!  Her expression looks as though she is bewitched, BUT NOT A WITCH.  Her body is soft as jelly and her limbs are droopy.  The saliva under her tongue has been sucked dry.  There is an increase in the pace of her breathing.  Touch, not fondle or grope her body; is there an increase in her temperature and heart rate?  Can you feel a high state of tension in her muscles?  What about the abdominal muscles?  Are they tightening?  Connect your face cheeks to her pelvis; is it throbbing and is there a general bearing down movement in the pelvic area?

Bottom line here, stop assuming that women are just like men, and start using your senses with synchronicity to determine when a woman is really excited. I'm tellin ya; your partner will not only thank you; she will LOVE YOU!  Wanting to brush up your touch skills again?  You know where to find me.

That's it again for this segment.  Stay tuned; I'll be back.
oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Toronto Tantra Sexuality

Welcome to my blog
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This is this weeks article
Well hello again my faithful followers!  Ok, I gotta say this.  Over the past year or so, I've been bombarded with questions pertaining to; how to lasting longer in the sac with their partner.  What confuses me is after explaining, demonstrating and putting into practice the techniques to take home for homework; seekers are still flunking the class!  What's up with that?  If you really value the information; then memorized my assignments!

There are a number of sexual experts over the past several decades who have taught women and men, how to reach prolonged pleasure states that overthrow the momentary bliss of a singular orgasm.  Tons of authors and researchers, like myself have described this state as continuous multiple orgasms, blended orgasm, or extended or expanded sexual orgasms. The heart of the matter is to practice channeling your sexual energy, in order to reach an expanded state of full body pleasure and heightened spiritual consciousness with your partner.  I know you desire this; but you can't go to the gym and expect results by watching everyone else!  The possibilities to expand your experience of orgasm are as endless as your imagination and it takes discipline!

It's not only possible, but crucial in my books, to extend your usual orgasmic time which is usually around 8 seconds and keep the conversation going with the universe for at least 60 seconds.  Doesn't sound like a lot of time does it?  But when you are in the intense spasms of orgasm, a minute feels like forever!  So, in order for you to extend and let the love linger with your orgasms, there are several techniques worth your while to pay attention to.  

One of the big ones is contracting your love muscle during orgasm.   Say what muscle and where? This is the PC muscle and it's a hammock like muscle, found in both females and males that stretches from the pubic bone to the coccyx (which is your tail bone) forming the floor of the pelvic cavity and supporting all of those important pelvic organs.  By squeezing that little sucker, just like you're stopping the flow of urine from coming out; and drawing energy with an inhalation through the nose (4 seconds) will move the orgasmic energy into the Microcosmic Orbit (that's way up past your crown chakra) helping to keep your arousal high.  On the exhale let the air pass through the throat with a huge primal vibration for as long as you can release the oxygen.  You can then extend the orgasmic time by continuing to contract your little love muscle, even when you would have normally finished having an orgasm. 

What I want you to do from now on, is consciously continue to encourage this exercise of pulsations, and as you train yourself to do this, you will find that you can keep the pleasurable waves coming and coming and I'm cominggggggg!!!

I'm about as serious as not paying your taxes here people!  Sooner or later you will pay for not practicing!  That essential ingredient of exhaling with a long breath, releases oxytocin from your throat and not allowing it all to come out of your genitals; where everyone is exhausted there after.   When you start to have that orgasm, slowly breathe out via your throat, making a loud vibration noise.  The throat and the vagina are connected don't you know, which is perhaps why it is easier to extend your orgasm if you are expressing your pleasure through your voice.   As long as you can extend your exhalation and continue to make sound while contracting your PC muscle, you can extend your orgasms; believe it, I practice it!   Another great incentive is to practice meditative breath control before you even have sex. 

You will find, that is, if you practice, with the maturity of your sexual energy, that you will be able to extend your orgasm through one long out breath, a quick intake of breath, and then another one or two breaths.  Listen, your throat is open to sound and your genitals are open to pleasure, which allows the orgasmic wave to continue to flow through you.  So, if you have to soundproof your room, DO IT!  Use the power of your love muscle, and ride your pulsations into extended orgasm!

Ok, my friends; as always, it was great flexing with you today!
See you again
oxoxoxoxo